Bad Day?

I always look at this and it makes everything better. :)

 This comment. Is really great and may not mean that much to others. Oh boy. It means a lot to me :)

Attempt to begin this post without and 'i' is impossible!

Here goes. Ha! No, I. Woot!
Anyway, i have such a problem with the thought of simply being annoying. However, actually being annoying, in the way i act, send billions of emails. No, that doesn't seem to bother me at the time, now does it? Argh! I understand that this makes no sense. Okay, let me start at the beginning. "A very good place to start.."
After being diagnosed with spot i was helped to pass my SW elective by this lovely lady and post surgery, radiotherapy and everything else. I was able to return to uni and surprise, surprise i got in touch with her. But not to thank her, to ask her for more help. I really am so annoyed with myself. I now realise i should have thanked her before i asked for more help. However, i don't want to seem like i am just buttering her up. Cause that is so wrong! I really do want to thank her. But, i unfortunately cannot turn back time. However, i can change the way i act with her when i see her, this week most probably.
Guess what? I will thank her properly. Yeah! But how? A letter? Flowers? I have no idea. But i will probably do something closer to graduation and include BOTH! 
Another thing i really like is that she checked her email on a sunday. SUNDAY! Which, i for some reason think is really nice. So, thank you :)
I know you will most likely never see this and i will be happy about that, seeing as i have written this atrociously and subsequently it makes NO SENSE! 
But i really just want to say that everything you have done means a lot, even if you do not believe me. It is true, every word. :)

Dance like no-one is watching

Dreaming of a 21st.

After looking at all the different 21st photo's from people parties, i get a smidgey tad jealous. Why? Because i look and see that everyone (well it seems..) has large families and that is what their party is mainly about. The fact that i am jealous. Jealousy is annoying, because i am inflicting it on myself. 
Sadly, i know deep down inside that my family is not like others. We only see each other at Christmas if we're lucky and we don't particularly all get along. But, oh well. I don't see what is wrong with just having something low key. If anything at all. I didn't realise how much all my medical procedures, bills and everything really had been costing. Unfortunately i need to put other things in front of other and prioritise. Yeah! I feel much better.
Dance like no-one is watching. I love that saying it is s true.

Positive thinking

Attempting to sympathise. Attempting.

I watched Sunday Night and saw the story about Olivia Penpraze and saw how affected she was because of Bullies. WOW! I really can not understand and that is why i have attempted to sympathize. Not empathize (after studying what the real definition of empathy is). However, i have spent a lot of the time trying to stay alive (surgery, radiotherapy..), and you see all the other people who are spending time attempting to end their life. 

I do not understand!

It is incredibly sad how mental illnesses like psychosis and others can cause such terrible feelings. Especially in the same family, subsequently passing on the mental illness, depending on the people's strength. However, i really do believe i know nothing about mental illness. Brains, brain tumours. But not mental illness. Must learn more about how it can affect you. 

Stress.

This stoopid assignment i have to complete, that is a cause of stress! Funny, because the teacher was telling us that we should attempt to put our own interpretation of stress, and use that as an aid in our assignment. Consider that done! However, i have to admit i want - one - of my definitions of stress to stump her. Make her think. 

You know one thing that has been also stressing me out? Getting my first results back! I mean, to be honest i didn't put 100% in, but i did try hard. However, i really do think i didn't put 110% (what mum says..) in so i can say, when i get the results back (assuming they are bad) that at least i didn't try. Bad, but too darn true. Wish me luck for the results. *fingers crossed*